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“Is that a hairdryer?”, my enquiring husband asks as he holds up one of the items I had laid out before him for testing. To give him his dues, it does sort of look like it might be used in a salon to help coif someones ‘do. Personally, I thought it would look right at home on the set of some sort of cheesy sci-fi show but there we are…

Hello dear reader, we are back with another review and we are once again working with our dear friends at MEO. I reached out as we hadn’t reviewed anything with them for a while, and as I was gearing up to return to blogging full time – I’d need some product to review. As always, they graciously accepted my offer and I spent a good couple of hours browsing the catalogue to try and select some items to review. One of the first things to catch my eye was the CUMELOT BDSM Glans Vibrator; long time readers will know that a good vibrating cock toy makes me pretty giddy with excitement.

And this one looked just different enough to anything I’ve used before, that I had to just give it a try. When it arrived, I discovered that it appears to be a basic white-label toy; it’s not made by any particular brand – and that’s not a bad thing – lots of stores sell white-label toys. It just meant that I had no idea what to expect in terms of quality. Again, not a bad thing really. There was only going to be one way to find out how good it was… but first, a charge!

I would like to thank MEO for sending us the CUMELOT BDSM Glans Vibrator free of charge in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links have been used in this post. 

First Impressions

As this is a white-label toy, the packaging is very plain and non-descript. Just a simple black box with an image of the product on it. Inside, you get the glans vibrator and a USB charging cable. The vibrator features a penetrable canal, designed to fit over the glans of the penis; made from firm silicone. Inside, a series of lumps, bumps and waves designed to offer some scintillating sensations. As the name suggests, it has a few vibration modes; ranging from 3 different speeds to a few patterns. It also contains 2 suction modes.

Charging is simple; it takes around about 3 hours to fully charge, and that gets me around about an hours worth of play time. Operation is simple; one button operate the different vibration modes and a second button operates the suction. The internal canal is about 3 inches deep. It has an opening circumference of around 4 inches that widens ever so slightly towards the end.

In Use

I was particularly excited to give this a try, as when I first turned it on – the vibrations felt pretty promising. They weren’t necessarily the strongest, but it felt like the sleeve did a really decent job of transmitting those vibes throughout the length of the sleeve. Wanting to waste no time, I lubed up myself and applied a little to the inside of the sleeve; and carefully popped the Glans Vibrator over the top of my penis. The silicone is firm and created a nice snug seal (for reference, my dick has a circumference of around 5.5 inches). This meant that once I was in, and the suction was on – this wasn’t going to be a sleeve that I could stroke with.

But let’s start with the vibrations. There are 3 different speeds and then a selection of patterns that vary from your regular pulses and waves – nothing groundbreaking. The vibrations on their highest setting feel pleasant, and as I expected; the sleeve does a good job of making them felt all throughout – although I would say they actually felt their weakest at the tip, which is ironic considering this is a glans vibrator… my glans wasn’t feeling particularly rattled. Still, it felt nice but I don’t feel the vibrations here alone would have helped me achieve orgasm (especially as the vibrations aren’t quite hitting my most sensitive spot). Maybe the suction would help. So let’s give it a go…

Once the suction was activated, there was a definitely difference in sensation – It wasn’t a strong suction but I could definitely feel it; the device was now contracting on my dick and yeah; it felt pretty nice! Because the sleeve created a tight seal, I didn’t feel the need to hold onto – I could just lay back and just let the device do it’s thing. And so I did; I just laid back, closed my eyes and let the CUMELOT work it’s magic. This wasn’t the quickest orgasm I’ve ever had. In fact, it took me a good 30-40 minutes to get to that point. And that also required me to use my imagination a fair bit (and in the end I wacked some porn on the TV) as whilst the sensation did feel really pleasant… I just didn’t feel quite enough to really get me there by itself.

But once I did cum, it was good; and left me breathless. Now, the next part… I can’t believe I’m actually writing but… I had a moment of absolute panic when I took it off my cock. Because what I saw next, was honestly not what I was expecting. As I pulled the Glans Vibrator off my dick; I almost shrieked in horror as I looked at my glans. Where the silicone inside is quite firm, it had left indentations; the top of my dick looked like Freddy Krueger. I was genuinely mortified. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Thankfully, everything returned to normal after a few moments; I likened it to when you fall asleep on something textured and when you wake up, it’s left indents in your face or body. To see that on your arm or face is one thing; but on your cock? Well it was definitely quite a shock.

My husband didn’t have quite the same experience, and this is where we discovered that this sort of toy definitely has it’s limits for just your average cock toy; whilst he lauded the sensation – his biggest complaint was that it was too tight, and the silicone was too firm – meaning it definitely felt more painful than pleasurable. And to some extent, I did agree a little – the silicone doesn’t have a lot of give, so it’s not going to stretch a lot, meaning anyone with a circumference of 6 inches or more, will definitely not be able to use this. But given this is advertised as a BDSM Glans Vibrator… than maybe we just aren’t the right customers for it? If you are a Dom who likes to torture their subs then this could be up your back alley. But for Mr and Mr ‘Mostly’ Vanilla… it was just a bit much.

Clean-up and Maintenance

The CUMELOT BDSM Glans Vibrator is waterproof so can be given a good thorough rinse with some warm soap water. The internal canal is very textured, so some extra care will be needed to ensure all fluids are fully removed. It can be a bit of a bugger to dry, so I ended up taking a hairdryer on a cool setting to give the inside a quick blast to dry it out quicker. No storage bag, but it’s silicone so should be able to be tossed in with your other toys without issue. Although in my case, this might be going into the ‘only to be brought out when I’m mad with him but don’t want to use my words to inflict pain’ pile.

Summary

I cannot fault the build quality; it feels pretty solid and the silicone, despite being firm, feels really smooth. The vibrations are nice and the suction is a nice touch that works well. It’s just… not for me! I like the concept but the execution for me just left a little to be desired, and whilst I did eventually lead me to orgasm; I’m not sure I’ll ever get over the trauma of seeing my dick looking like it’s just woken up on Elm Street. But hey, if you are into that sort of thing, or you do enjoy a little bit of cock torture than by all means, have at it! It’s definitely got it’s audience. I think for us, we’ll use it again, but more as an appetiser, rather than the main course.

Where To Buy

If you still want to give this a try, then you can pick up the CUMELOT BDSM Glans Vibrator direct from MEO. (At the time of publication, it was out of stock but is due back in stock very soon).

I would like to thank MEO for sending us the CUMELOT BDSM Glans Vibrator free of charge in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links have been used in this post. If you wish to keep supporting the blog, please consider making your purchases through these links. It doesn’t cost you a penny more and the money goes towards keeping the blog on the web and content coming! Thank you! 

The Lowdown

5
Definitely something for the more seasoned ‘cock-torture’ purveyor than your typical average masturbator. A good concept that just misses the mark for us.
Pros
  • OK vibrations
  • Suction works decently, if gentle
Cons
  • Silicone very firm and can 'leave a mark'
  • Not very flexible, so not great for larger girths
Features
7
10
Sensation
5
10
Re-Playability
4
10
Orgasm Rating
4
10

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