The snow has fallen, and today just felt like too good an opportunity to pass up reviewing the latest addition to my Icicles collection – especially as it meant I got to have a quick ‘snowy’ photoshoot (and I mean quick – it’s bloody cold!).
As previous readers may know, we’ve reviewed a lot of glass dildos – and I’ve had my eye on this one for a while. It’s not that I’m in to tentacle porn or anything like that – I’m just a lover of uniquely textured toys – and this one just seemed to tick all the right boxes.
My dear friends over at sextoys.co.uk offered me the Tentacle in exchange for an honest review, and I of course couldn’t say no – what sort of blogger would I be? I of course was eager in anticipation, waiting for it to arrive. So how did I get on with it? Well let’s find out, shall we?
Please note: due to the difficulties of shooting objects out in the snow, the photo’s on this page have been edited on photoshop in order to enhance the effect. I haven’t done this to try and deceive you, the photo’s really do just look better this way.
First Impressions
Like everything in the Icicles range, they are all packaged in cute little boxes, and shipped within padded foam inserts to make them comfortable. Oh, and to protect them from being broken during transit – although these really are quite strong – I dropped one from the bed onto the hardwood floor, and not even a scratch.
The first thing I really noticed, was that this was a lot smaller than I had anticipated. Not stupidly smaller, but based on the shape, I worked out there’s an insertable length of just under 5 inches – making it one of, if not the smallest glass dildo in my toy box. It has a circumference of 4.5 inches (so pretty standard amongst the icicles) but this one is different. It’s not ’round’ like your typical glass dildo… it’s actually flat and wide (so, like a Tentacle). In fact, I actually think it looks more like a tongue, than a tentacle, but that’s me.
This is also definitely one of the most textured glass pieces – even just holding it in my hand, I could feel how intense it was going to me. On one side, the entire length of the shaft is covered with ‘suckers’ or rather small rounded bumps that run up both sides – it was actually quite nice rubbing that over my shoulders and back. On the other side, there are what I can only describe as ‘veins’. The base of the dildo curves round into almost a loop – which I assume is to act as a little finger loop, not just a fancy decorative flourish (although it does look nice). I was a little disappointed that once again, the colour of the dildo just doesn’t really match what’s on the box – the packaging makes it look a really deep, vibrant pink – but in the flesh, it almost feels a little washed out.
In Use
I have to admit, the interesting shape of this dildo did have me concerned:
@KellySi24841815 I admit, my ass did pucker when it saw the shape and went “Are you for REAL?”. We’ll just have to find out, wont we?! 😀
— The Big Gay Review (@thebiggayreview) January 15, 2015
But ever the professional, I knew that I had to put my concerns aside and just give it a good hard college try.
When it comes to using a glass dildo, you can go one of 3 ways – you can either go in straight out the box or you can warm it up in some warm water for added realism. You can even go the complete opposite and chill it right down for some extra sensitive sensations. Personally, the chilled sensation is not really doing much for me at the moment – I am totally preferring things a little on the warm side.
After getting the dildo nice and warm, I got myself comfortable, applied a generous coating of lube (whatever lube you prefer to use is totally fine) and got myself ready. I lay back and got myself into the most comfortable position for insertion (which for me, is on my side, with my knees up). The dildo slid in with very little resistance, but this would be where I noticed the error of my ways. You see, a uniquely textured dildo in silicone, for example, is really nice, because it’s still squishy. A uniquely textured dildo in Glass, is solid and unforgiving.
As I pushed the toy deeper, each row of ‘suckers’ was flicking at my sphincter, and initially it felt really nice, and then it just started to hurt. Perhaps I haven’t put enough lube on? Impossible. But I carefully removed (and the suckers going the other way felt just as odd) and applied even MORE lube – although I’m beginning to question my sanity at this point. If it needs a bucketload of lube to even feel remotely pleasurable, clearly it’s not the right toy for me. But I persevered in the name of science and tried again.
The additional lube helped a little, but things were now just becoming too messy and slippery. Thrusting with this kind of dildo was out of the question – it was rubbing my ass hole raw and it did not feel good. I was so upset by this. But, I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad toy – but unfortunately, I just don’t have a vagina to verify whether it does feel better vaginally – but something tells me that this particular dildo is definitely not for anal use (unless you like a bit of pain in your ass).
Clean-up & Maintenance
Glass toys are so incredibly simple to clean and look after. You can clean them with just regular soap and water (or Toy Cleaner). For that added sparkle, you could even clean it in the dishwasher (although perhaps not with the best crockery, eh?). The tough nature of the borosilicate glass means that you can easily store them with other toys and they will not get damaged – but always do take care when using and handling – they aren’t indestructible, and good tumble onto a tiled floor might do some damage – but inside you, they are completely safe.
Summary
Sometimes, curiosity just gets the better of you, and this was definitely one of those times. In terms of style, the Tentacle is just as beautiful as the other pieces in the Icicles range – it’s unique shape and texture is certainly eye catching, but unlike the rest of the Icicles dildos I have played with, this one is definitely not suited to anal exploration. The wider, flatter shape is a breeze to insert, but the intense bumps are not forgiving, and thrusting with this just feels slightly painful – not like “OH GOD I AM IN AGONY” kind of pain, but enough to make me lose focus during masturbation, and these toys are supposed to enhance the pleasure, and sadly in this case, the Icicles No.24 did not enhance anything. And it’s a real shame.
Where to buy
I was sent the Icicles No.24 by Sextoys.co.uk
I was sent the Icicles No.24 by sextoys.co.uk in exchange for an honest review. This has not influenced my review on this product in any way. All thoughts, opinions and experiences with this toy are my own, and always will be. Affiliate links have been used within this post.
